Time Stopped

I cannot believe that time stopped for me last thursday night. And I realized how vulnerable we are and how little our children are. That night I had gone to my trainer (got my behind handed to me) and when I returned, my sick little girl (had a fever all day) was lying on the ground, seemingly unconscious with blood coming out of her mouth. I wanted to throw up. and cry and do all those things to stop the hurt that I felt but I had to find out what happened. I muttered "what happened?" and my husband said "Dana, it's ok. She had a seizure. She is fine she just needs us to hold her on her side right now...can you do that?" Ya...I can do that while I cry...sure. Then there was something about being strong because she can hear us. Then the paramedics showed up. All in all, she was fine but she didn't really become alert until we were at the hospital for at least an hour. I cannot believe how brave she was even being scared. She seemed so small to me which is funny because I am constantly noticing how big she is. Basically the ER doc determined seizure from fever. But the pediatrician we saw about a week later doesn't think that...he's testing her for epilepsy. Crazy. I know it's not the end of the world but I really don't want her to have to go through this in her lifetime. I don't want to have to worry when she takes a bath that she might have a seizure. I don't want to worry that it will happen while we sleep or while she's climbing around being a crazy 4 year old. I just want to protect her from anything bad. And in one moment, that moment when I saw her out for the count, I realized I can't do that. I cannot stop anything bad from happening to my children. And that freaks me out.